there's more to life.
i didn't ever imagine that-
instead, spent my life painting-
dreaming.
dressing my hair with stars
and their light.
i couldn't find myne-
always had a tendency to burn out-
crash-
and fall away into the darkness of rats and men.
too old
and much too in love
for what my blood thirsted for.

you never knew this part of me.
always thought that i was just being difficult.
just to spite you i suppose?
show you what you gave your life up for.

you never could realize that you didn't have
to stop living.
shouldn't have sentenced yourself to that.
no one else did it for you.

all you
and now we're the ones to pay.

so sit back and point fingers.
think the shyt hit the fan
and covered you-

do you realize it's yours?
my fan's been broken for years
and i've stopped dreaming.
stopped painting the pictures of love and sex.

i'm just me
and i'm broken in places
that i haven't discovered yet-
i just hope i can find the tools
to do the fixing.

i know i can't help you anymore.
i refuse to perpetuate the cycle.
so i leave you with this small
fallen, faded star.
i hope it leads you out of the darkness-

or at least opens your eyes
to the possibility of light.

-a.