i've struggled. with the boxes
and all the circles i've wanted to push in-
too stubborn to reform myself
into laughters and shades of blond.
remorse would weigh my soul
to a depth of depression that the ocean
would chill and comfort.
That perspective- somewhat attracting me
like the night butterfly to lights
that will eventually sentence the life-
attractive and yet a choice
that i'm certain would lead me
back to years previous-
fruitless but full of intensity
that's lacking right now.

Still, the choice is not myne to make-
not present to me
in this land of free will-
i roll my eyes
knowing that i do not know
what my life looks like.
But last friday
you touched a part of me
that hasn't been touched for years

and i am content
with just that
knowing that my life
has a splash of yellow
and that it never would have had
the heart to choose any other way.

-a.