i've been foolish. made choices
laid in beds that i knew wouldn't fit me.
There have been decisions
that linger on my flesh closer than death-
the taste being sweeter.
And i have thrown myself continuously
into the rivers of men
who would never love me-
i never wanted them to.
but somehow, after dragging myself to the shore
they found my presence
and decided to follow it like a ghost-
drying themselves up and creating
life hollow and unfulfilling.
Repeatedly, i resign and stay in my dreams
believing that there should be more-
i just haven't bothered looking,
knowing that all my days end the same way.

-a.