there's a gurl
i always wished to be-
the happy one-
without scars
and sleeplessness.
it was all self-inflicted
but i didn't know how to stop.
reflections are all backwards,
that's why you thought
you knew me inside out.

and i just wanted to say
there's no shame in that-
we all see what we want
and often cut ourselves out
of what we need-

that sandy beach
was always my memory
and i could never want you enough
your stone offering
was never more heavy
and unsatisfying
as you spoke
of all you knew.

and none of it reached past
this skin-
my organs even
rejecting
the love you had.

-a.