i feel the butterflies-
the edges of the world
as i push beyond my own edges.
and it's as exciting as it is nervous-
i'm making decisions
i'd normally talk myself out of.
and i'm taking life for granted
as if it will always be this free
and bendy.
not knowing that time causes us to be stiff
and as lusts passes away
the hardness remains
and creates us sour. uninterested.
i wonder when this stone is turned
if you'll think of me with fond memories
or if you'll continue to bend life
to the reality of us.
the excitement of our own blood
pursuing our hearts. pursuing the timing
that will most certainly never be right.
i wonder if the end will be enough of a push
for me to really take flight
and leave this self
that's too fond of pretenses
and a poker hand that lays on the table-
i wonder if this pushing will become
a habit
that isn't as hard to break
as your love.