i begin to wonder
why it is that you escape me-
create me whole and broken
fallen on wings of inspiration and dream.
i want you.
there is no doubt in that-
even in distance and misery
i find myself silently
tossing pieces of myself ino the streams
of loneliness.
just wishing for a bread crumb in return.
and you know all the right ways
to react. to reach me.
to spread your words across my flesh
like dirty whores perfecting their craft.
my soul cries out for you
as if a junkie going through withdraw.

a breath.
and i try to sooth myself.
knowing full well that it'll never be enough-
i'll never get that fix again.
not when laughter is poor
and your history
is what saves the day.